Once Again.. Alone

So much to see so much to do so I decided to stay in Dharamshala longer, possibly for another month which is until the end of my stay in India as a whole. And I am again by myself. I am not sure if I mentioned that before but I was travelling with a friend from Mount Holyoke for the past week. It makes a huge difference to me having somebody with me. I can definitely say that it can be pretty lonely by myself. In particular in Delhi, I often wished to have somebody with me who I can share experiences with. For the past 6 days I could share my experiences and as everything in life, good things don't last forever.

I am on my own again. At the same time though, there are many people who are traveling so I am meeting new people all the time. And I even have to say that there were times where I wished to have some more time for myself. But this doesn't mean that I am not still by lonely, it's rather a feeling of having tons of people surrounding me that I don't want to be surround by.

Enough of my personal emotional inside, let's talk about plans. As I mentioned before, I was planning to go to a retreat center called Vipassana. It is a meditation center that offers 10 day retreats where people are asked to meditate for 10 days straight through without talking and with only a limited number of breaks. I thought initially, it would be a good idea to do that. I wanted to understand how meditation can help heal mental illness so the best way of finding that out was by experiencing it myself. And as always, I have to go all the way instead of trying to emerge myself in the technique slowly but surely. However, plans have changed. As somebody probably wanted, the Vipassana center is positioned right next to another center called Tushita. Tushita is also a meditation center based on Tibetan Buddhism that can be seen as a lower level of Vipassana. Tushita as Vipassana offers ten days retreats but as opposed to Vipassana the retreats are not solely based on meditation. On top of the meditation, in Tushita I will have sessions of lectures and discussions about Tibetan Buddhism through which I will learn the importance of meditation.

I definitely want to do the Vipassana retreat at some point but right now I don't think I would be able to do it. Let me rephrase this, I would probably be able to go though it because it doesn't matter how difficult and miserable something is, I hang in it but that's not the point. I don't want to go in there just to be able to say that I have done it, instead, I want to truly benefit from it. For this time, Tushita will have to be enough. That's starting on August 6th and goes until the 17th. And if you are asking what I will be doing until then... the answer is Yoga.

By destiny, I am living right next to a world famous yoga center. One of the people living at the same place I am is working there. Another person who I am living there used to work there and they are all yoga teachers. On top of all this, I have talked to a gazillion people who have strongly recommended this course to me. So this is what I will be doing. The reason why I really want to do this course is because the yoga center puts strong emphasis on yoga therapy and how people can be treated with yoga. I still have to find out how it potentially could work. Being a part of it will definitely allow me to get a closer look. And again, using myself as a guinea pig will give me the best and most accurate exposure to understand how yoga can be used as a form of therapy.       

Dharamshala

I think Dharamshala could not be any more different from Delhi. In Delhi, the only white person I spoke to was the French patient who was admitted to VIMHANS at the beginning of my stay. Other than that, I was always the only white girl. Obviously, there are a lot of tourists in Delhi but since I was always at the hospital I did not see them a lot nor did I talk to them. Coming to Dharamshala, my perception of India has totally changed. It is totally different than what I have experienced in Delhi. There are tons of tourists here. Everywhere. I see more tourists here than local people. At the beginning of my stay, I thought it was pretty cool. I meet people constantly, have nice conversations and exchange experiences and stories. But at the end, I am glad that I was first totally emerged in the Indian culture in Delhi so I at least know what India is all about because I don’t think Dharamshala reflects that at all.

I also think I have found what I was looking for in terms of my academic goals. Every other store here in Dharamshala offers Yoga Therapy, Meditation Therapy, Training in Reiki, Hypnotherapy and so on. This is what I was looking for in Delhi but a lot of the doctors at the hospital were strongly opposed to it so there was never too much opportunity to ask about those kind of things. But here I can talk to a lot of people. I have met a few people who are teaching it or learning it. Most of the diseases treated by the above mentioned therapies are physical. I am sure though that when I look a little more I will actually find more information about how mental illness can be treated with it. I was also thinking of taking a yoga course myself to get a better understanding about how yoga can potentially work for mentally sick people. I am also thinking about doing a 10 day Vipassna retreat where I am supposed to meditate all day every day in silence.  

Let's see... For now, I think there are a lot of things to explore. I will stay updated.        

How much effort should you put in?

I was seeing a patient for a while now and I was wondering if I am putting too much effort into trying to help her. I also asked myself if I am truly able to help her. Obviously, I am not trained in anything so the only thing that I do is spend time with her and comfort her. She is young and feels lonely so I try to at least decrease her feeling of loneliness. But how much can I really do? Nothing. Today, on a Sunday I came to the hospital specifically to see her even though I had a long meeting this morning with one of the doctors and I am very tired but still I made the effort to come. But the patient didn't really feel like seeing me. I know her and I know that she doesn't feel like doing anything but to ask for discharge so I started to push her a little to get her out of bed. Suddenly, I realized or at least wondered if I am doing this for her or for myself. I came to the conclusion that I am probably doing this for myself and I stopped. I introduced her to another intern who will be here for another six months and left. The other intern will at least be able to engage with her for a longer period than I can.

The patient was told yesterday that I am leaving from Monday onwards so I don't know if she doesn't want to see me anymore because she is disappointed. Why would she want to engage with somebody who is leaving her anyway? I think I am putting too much time, effort and dedication into this. There is nothing I can change and even though I want to I don't know how.

Tomorrow I am leaving and that's all that matters for now. I better get home and start packing.  

Almost Last Day

Have you ever heard of the expression, "you should stop when it is the best." I don't know if people say it in English but in German that's what people say a lot.

Today was my official last day and I am feeling as if I still want to do so much more. This is the time when a million things come up. I want to speak to this patient, talk to those doctors, attend that lecture and visit this and the other place. This is how it always goes for me, when I start feeling comfortable I have to leave. Do I feel comfortable because I am leaving or have I really become comfortable? I know for me, it always takes time to adjust to a place and to truly appreciate it but I also always feel sad when it gets over so I why can't I enjoy it from the beginning? Now I feel I have wasted time and I want more time to make up for it.

Anyhow, I have become pretty close to a patient and there is so much more I want to talk about and do with the patient. This is why I will be coming back to the hospital tomorrow, on Sunday and on Monday morning. I hopefully will leave on Monday night to Dharamshala, this is my next destination. I hope there I can get closer to what I am looking for. I am talking to a doctor there too so I hope I will be able to get a look at a mental hospital there. We will see how they differ if I can get to see it. But before that I am going back to the Gnositc Center tomorrow so let's see what else they can teach me.  

ECT

This is the first time I have seen how ECT (Electro-convulsive therapy) is conducted. Anesthetized patients are basically receiving electrical shocks for therapeutic effect.How those electrical shocks work and how they help is very elusive. However, some patients benefit from it so it is practiced as a treatment of last resort. Mostly patients with severe depression are treated with ECT if medication doesn't show any effect. But those patients have not been treated with psychotherapy so I wonder if that would be another type of treatment that should come before ECT.

Anyway, this experience for me was pretty scary. I have heard some patients ask for ECT because they strongly believe in it and think that this is the only thing that helps them. But I have also heard patients crying, screaming and being totally terrified right before receiving ECT. The procedure itself, I was told, is totally unspectacular. Anesthetized patients barely show any reaction to the electrical shocks. The experience I have made was a bit different. In the morning when I met the patient, he seemed to be totally indifferent about receiving ECT, at least this is how it appeared. After being put to sleep, he received one electrical shock. Right after the first shock, his entire body started shivering for at least 30 seconds. The doctor and attendant had to even hold the patient. This is when it was over for me. In this small, scary, hot, stuffed room I was unable to breath and really scared I would pass out  so I left.

I truly believe that ECT works for some patients and some might truly benefit from it but since the percentage of those people is very small, I am wondering if it is justifiable to put a lot of other patients through it who it is not working for.       

What if symptoms make sense?

Some depression patients I have met in the IPD are depressed with no reason. They feel sad, low, don't feel like doing anything or like crying all the time without any cause or reason. They don't know why they feel that way. But other patients such as  I have talked about before at Don Bosco have gone through a lot of trauma and abuse, which in my understanding can be the cause for how they feel. As I said before, if there is a particular and obvious cause of their symptoms then it often would make sense to take that cause into closer consideration if we want to help the patient get better. A lot of times, for those patients medication is not working anyway. Today, I have met this patient who is a borderline and depression patient. She is a teenager who was going through rebellion in the US. All of a sudden, her parents took her from the US where she grew up in to a totally foreign country for her which is India. Because she has great difficulty adjusting to the new environment in India she started hurting herself out of despair. How otherwise is she able to express her anger, frustration and complete helplessness to what has been done to her? I know there is much more to the case than what I have said but for me the response to what has happened makes sense.    

Gnostic Center

Finally, I was able to go to the Gnostic Center. Initially I was supposed to go last month already but the trip had been cancelled. So this time I was really looking forward to it. It took us about two hours in the morning to get to Gurgaon which is were the center is located. We were driving to the center during rush hour in the morning so there were a gazillion cars, bicycles and pedestrians on the streets. Everybody in the car was singing, talking and the cars were honking like crazy outside. The closer we got, the quieter it became; not only outside but inside the car as well. If nothing else, the peacefulness and quietness of the center was worth experiencing. The Gnostic center is surrounded by fields, grass and trees. I think, especially people who have mental problems would benefit from this atmosphere because by having an calm environment might help them to become calm as well. Beyond the peaceful atmosphere, the center had so much more to offer... In short, it is a place where people are helped to find themselves. I know this sounds very philosophical but if you are a person who has ever asked, who am I, why am I in this world or what is my role in this world, then this place helps people find ways to answer those questions. What does this have to do with psychology? The connection I have made is that unless I know who I am, I will not be able to help patients to find the answer to their problems. A person is composed of a million different things and if we, as psychologists, don't know what those are for us individually then how would we know in what ways those components influence the therapy we conduct with our patients...?    

A lot to Digest

I have seen refugees in Germany, the US and now here in India. Often people immigrate to other countries out of despair, survival, helplessness and for protection. But if we stop and think for a moment how often have we actually interacted with refugees. Not too much or never. The sad thing is that even though people might have never met refugees personally and learned the problems they go through, people tend to judge them for who they are and for what has brought them here. I have heard people say things like they come here and take away our jobs and resources that should be allocated to us, they should go back to their country and ask for help there. This type of attitude is further reflected by discrimination, racism and hostility in the country of refuge. On top of all the other problems refugees have, this becomes one more thing in a long list of things that is making life not easy for them.

During my internship I have visited Don Bosco, a non-profit organization supported by the United Nations High Commission for Refugees. Their main goal is to teach refugees’ self-reliance and sustainable livelihoods through the implementation of various training centers in which for example they are educated and taught useful skills in order to find jobs in factories and other places. When I talked to one of the social workers there, she told me that it is so important people like me get interested in projects like this to see and learn about the ways refugees are living, what brings them here and why they need support. By educating me, they hope I can then spread the word and maybe tell my experiences to third parties and subsequently get the ball rolling for more awareness. This is why I decided to share my experiences with you.

The mental hospital VIMHANS that I am interning at sends a psychiatrist to one of the centers of Don Bosco to treat people with psychological problems. Two doctors alternately visit Don Bosco every week. I have decided to come along with one of the doctors on one of those days. The center that we had to visit is only a couple of minutes walking distance from VIMHANS so we left the hospital after our daily case presentation at around 11am. When we arrived, there was already a full room of patients awaiting us. Another clinical psychologist and I were accompanying the doctor so we both positioned our chairs behind the doctor to observe her work.

The patients were coming in accompanied by an interpreter and a social worker. Most of the refugees did not know how to speak Hindi or English so the interpreter was absolutely crucial even though there is a reason why they are called interpreters. There is a lot of information that gets lost in translation. There was one patient whose diagnosis was completely changed because she was not understood in a way that she was supposed to be understood. Communication between patient and doctor depends on how the interpreter understands the questions of the doctor, how the question is translated to the patient and finally how the patient understands the question. The same problem is vice versa, which is when the patient answers the question. There is always a fine line between correctly understanding and misunderstanding the patient.

A lot of the patients who come to see a psychiatrist have undergone lots of trauma in their countries from which they have fled. The people we saw, suffered mainly from depression and anxiety disorders such as PTSD and panic attacks. For me, those illnesses make sense. I know that sometimes we should not conclude so fast but I felt like it is so clear. Somebody who has seen what they have seen will be scared regardless of their predisposition which is why I wonder if the condition should be called a disorder and can it be cured by medication. This is even what the doctor was asking. She told us about one of the patients and how the medication is not working for her but there is nothing she can do. The doctor was also questioning whether or not there can be anything done for people in such conditions. People who have undergone so much trauma can they even be helped? Maybe… but the additional resources that this person would need are not available therefore the people are stuck in a cycle from which they cannot escape and there is nobody who can help them get out. There was this other patient who said that she often feels like screaming. She was diagnosed with depression and obviously the desire to scream was not the only symptom she had but I thought that this statement was clearly showing that there is so much more which this woman needs to express and can’t. By giving her the medication might or might not help her suppress that symptom but in patients like that it is important to help them get to the root of the problem in order for them to get better. At the same time I understand that this is easier said than done. Who is going to pay for it and who is going to take care of the children while she will get additional treatment? There was this other woman who was depressed too and she also suffered from anxiety. She was still victim to the things that caused her to be scared. A lot of the women still live in abusive households so how can they be expected to get better when the abuse still continues. So many questions but no answers. In those situations people who try to help women like them feel helpless, there is really so little they can do.

 Nevertheless, Don Bosco is one of the organizations that provide refugees with as much help as they can. They have centers all over Delhi. Here in South Delhi the centers mostly serve Afghani and Somali refugees. The other centers are divided amongst mainly all Somali refugees and Burmese. I was told that the refugees divided them up like this themselves. Obviously, when people come to a country where everything is foreign to them they will try to find people who are familiar to them.

The centers I have visited are in South Delhi. Altogether there are three centers. One center, the one where patients are treated for psychological problems as described above, is focused on social, psychological and physical wellbeing of the refugees. The center helps them get medication for free and tries to arrange appointments with doctors or possibly getting doctors to the center itself. The social workers are usually the ones who do all this and in addition provide as much counseling as is required for the individual refugees. The social workers also assess the homes of the refugees to see what they need and how much more and in what ways they can help them.

Downstairs of the center, they have a child care center where little children can stay and play from morning till night so parents can go to work. Then, they have two classrooms in which the older children are taught. There is one class that is a “bridge class.” Those children are being prepared for regular schooling in India. Before they can go to a real school, they are taught Hindi, English and some basic math. The other class is for children who are already in school but need a bit more help with their school work. Don Bosco often employs refugees who have been going to school there themselves as teachers and/or as interpreters. The social workers told me that refugees themselves prefer working there than anywhere else because they feel most comfortable and welcome at this place.

The other center which is positioned right around the corner is mostly focused on teaching the older population English and Hindi. There are different levels of each language which they can attend. Beyond language classes, that particular center also offers computer skill training. This way, refugees are taught specific know-hows that can possibly help them find jobs more easily. In addition, the center helps them find work. Because of the refugee status which most of them have, they have difficulty finding a good job since the places they can be hired are limited. Nevertheless, the workers there do the best of their abilities to find what is best suitable for them.

The third center is providing mostly senior refugees with specific skill training such as sewing. Being taught that, they can find work which requires that one acquired skill. Or they can keep working at the center for a small amount of money, which sometimes is necessary when the refugees are too old and have only a small chance to be hired outside. The people working there make mostly kurtas, some bags and accessories which they later sell. The money inquired by the sells, the refugees can keep for them as additional money.

Going around the centers and watching peoples’ work I felt very inspired because I think it makes such a difference when refugees have a place to go to. Not only for specific help and questions but a place where they feel welcome and can spend their day, share their concerns, problems, difficulties and also achievements with other refugees who will understand them the best. They have all gone through similar things and having people who will surely understand them can have a better effect than any therapy. It’s kind of like an unofficial group therapy. This environment is telling them that they are not alone; there are other people who feel the same. Even though, there are often not enough resources to send refugees’ suffering from psychological problems for additional treatment such as psychotherapy but providing them with an unofficial group therapy setting might be the only alternative.    

Bangala Sahib Gurudawara and Lotus Temple

Today I went to explore some temples. First we went to the Bangala Sahib Gurudawara and I learned about Sikhism. Then we went to a Catholic Church which is pretty familiar to me. And lastly, we went to the Lotus Temple and I learned something about the Bahai Faith. I really have to admit that I enjoy temples much more than churches. I learn so many things that I didn't know before. In particular in the Gurudawara I felt very comfortable. I like the idea of sitting on the floor and for not having an hour long mass. You can go as long as you want and pray what you want. When we went to the Catholic Church we got caught up in mass and I really had a hard time enjoying it. It was really hot even in the church, we had to constantly stand, sit, get down on our knees, sing and pray together. I felt as if this was work and not at all relaxing. In most of the temples I feel a little more relaxed. I can sit on the floor, sometimes listen to people sing and enjoy the atmosphere as long as I want and the way I want.   

Reflections

The CDC asked me to reflect with a picture on my internship and I did...

There is so much more than just the psychology specific knowledge that I had to acquire in order to interact with clients. The way I ask questions, the questions I ask and the way I understand them are dependent on the knowledge I have about the culture.

For example, if we have a new client join Day Care at VIMHANS (Vidyasagar Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences), the client first needs to be assessed. One of the ways the client is assessed is by conducting a Mental Status Examination. This is a standardized format in which the clinician records the psychiatric signs and symptoms present at the time of the interview. Let's say I want to test the client for his or her memory function and ask him or her what he or she ate last night but I get no answer, I have to be able to give suggestions about what he might have eaten. He obviously will not have eaten a burger and some fries so I have to know what they eat in an Indian household in order to give logical suggestions.

I am learning very day and I think I am getting more and more a hang of it even though I do mistakes all the time. Sometimes there is only the patient and the conductor of the assessment and the parent/caregiver/family member is interviewed separately or they are sitting together. But as of now my assessments are repeated again with a professional. At times, they let me do it for practice when everybody else is busy at the moment; otherwise I observe.   

How much will medication really help if they have gone through so much Trauma?

Today I went to this organization called Don Bosco who is sponsored by the UNHCR (United Nations High Commission for Refugees). The organization has many centers throughout New Delhi. The center that we went to, Don Bosco provides help for refugees with social, psychological and physical related issues. But their are also other centers of Don Bosco who do a whole lot more for them. For example, they teach them computer skills, how to sew and how to speak English and/or Hindi. They help refugees find jobs, places to stay and advice them in legal matters.

VIMHANS provides Don Bosco with a psychiatrist once per week to take care of refugees with psychological problems. All patients I have seen with the doctor today have undergone a lot of trauma and I was wondering the whole entire time who wouldn't come out of what they have experienced with psychological disturbances. A lot of them where depressed and/or had anxieties. The doctor herself questioned how much medication will really help if they have gone through so much. It takes so much more to heal wounds like that than just drugs. In particular, if a lot of the causes which have brought along those symptoms are still present. Just because refuguees escape from the countries, they a lot of times can't escape their problems. If a woman is being abused and falls sick because of it, how can medication help if she is still victim to that abuse.

In those cases there is so much more than a biological bases to the illness. People are suffering from depression etc. because of much more than simply a chemical imbalance in the brain. But having said that, who is going to provide them with the additional therapy, who is going to help them get out of their problems, who is going to help them improve their living situation and who is going to pay for all of this? Feeling of helplessness...

Battle Field, "Take two"

Today once more I was able to experience a psychologists verses psychiatrists battle. I talk a lot about the case presentations here so I want to explain them a bit more. We have presentations every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Presentations on Wednesdays and Fridays are usually conducted by Resident doctors while Thursdays the psychology interns take their shot. Most of the people sitting in the conference room are psychiatrists and only a few psychologists of which barely any speak up. And a lot of times when the psychology interns present they are criticized and questioned extensively on psychological theories, concepts and therapy approaches.

In particular, one of the doctors has a very strong belief against a lot of the psychology doctrines. But because she is the eldest among all, everybody has to respect her and her a lot of times strong articulated opinions. But today people have not been as patient with her as they usually are. Firstly because the intern who has presenting was pushed into tears by the comments of the doctors, specifically by the one just mentioned. The second reason why people have not been as patient with her today is becuase the presentation was overseen by a psychologist who took the comments pretty offensive as well. This scenario ended up in a battle field and left me wondering if this is how it is everywhere.

I am really surprised about this constant fight of psychologists against psychiatrists but I assume this is going to be the same everywhere you go. It might not be as openly presented as it is in this situation but I am sure that this clash between beliefs will be present in the US as well as in Germany or even all over the world. What do you think?

Art Therapy Continued

Today, I decided to share my painting with you. As I said last time, I painted a person in the rain. Even though the person is a male, he is symbolizing me and my "male" attributes. The male attributes would be my dominant personality, my anger issues and my assertiveness. I drew myself under the umbrella, creating a separate, isolated space for myself in which I can be me and do what I want. According to the picture I painted, I am very protective about my space and I only let selected people in that I want to have in. But when people come closer who I don't want to be closer with, I will not look down upon them; instead I will kindly let them know that they are not the person who I want to be close with.

I really tried to make the painting difficult accessible when I was making it. I wanted to challenge the therapist. However, the therapist tackled the conclusion down within a few seconds. First, I had to think a little over the analysis but when I am honest to myself then this is pretty much who I am.

After this experience, I came to the realization that art can really be used as a starting point for therapy. It gives the therapist a tool to get into the deeper level of the patient. I had no intention to open up myself in front of the therapist and tell her who I am but I did, unknowingly.

The therapist pointed out to us that we as therapists do nothing else but introduce the clients to themselves through the paintings. Sometimes people get too caught up with a million other things in their lives and fail to see who they are.   

"Only Americans and Schizophrenics talk about Sex"

"Only Americans and Schizophrenics talk about Sex," this statement was made by one of our Senior doctors today at our case presentation. She is the oldest among the doctors and she makes the case presentations interesting for me because she tends to make statements like the one above all the time. The case presentations happen early in the morning, presented by one of the resident doctors who usually are pretty hard to understand when they speak English and not to understand for me at all when they speak Hindi. As everybody can imagine, those presentations are not the most exciting thing I have ever experienced but mandatory to attend. So I always get hyped up when the Senior doctor contributes her thoughts to the discussion.

Today, the case presentation was on a dementia patient who has been a widow for the past five years. One of the doctors asked the presenter if he had inquired the sexual history of the patient and the presenter said that he hadn't since the woman has been a widow for the past five years... And then the whole scene started again. Even in this hospital we were taught that sexual history is part of history taking and should be inquired from the patient but the Senior doctor strongly opposed that need. According to her, we don't ask about sex, "only Americans and Schizophrenics talk about Sex."

Too funny... does she truly believe that?

Rain Season

It has started raining everywhere else in India but here in Delhi. Only two days ago it has finally started raining. I am actually glad to be able to breath again. It is incredible how people can function in 50 degree temperature. I have also been walking since I came here and even though it was not that bad, I can still truly appreciate the change in temperature now. I am not scared anymore to go home, chill, relax and take a nap because now I am actually comfortable being in my room. Before I was just sweating constantly and having to take a shower every hour to cool myself down. This is also the first time I am using a bed shed to cover myself at night. I have never appreciated some air so much as I do now. Thank you for the RAIN! 

Frustration

Today I realized for the first time that things are getting repetitive to an extent that I don't really benefit from them anymore. I liked doing everything twice at the hospital because I always felt that I didn't get everything I could out of it the first time. But now, that feeling has changed. I came to India to explore Vimhans' relationship to the environment but there is really no relationship and definitely nobody who I could talk to about this. And again I am on my on, trying to find things which I don't know that I am looking for. I have not found anybody who thinks that the environment can be used as a medium to heal people. I know that I might not be looking at the right places but I hoped for at least somebody who would want to explore that topic a little with me together. Concluding: there is nobody at MHC who could really guide me or work with me, neither is there anybody here who could help me and I am too lost to do it myself. I have come to the realization that the topic was created in my head and I have not gained enough background knowledge to put anything together or at least look at the right places. This is where a mentor comes in, somebody who helps you move in the right direction and look at the right places but if that's missing, it's almost impossible to make up for it. So my question is, should we then only pursue stable, solid and already existing research topics that can be supported by somebody. Maybe this is what I should have done instead of following my interest.

 I have to admit that I am also getting a little frustrated with my further planning. Where to go, what to look for, who to go with, how to manage to go to places I would like to see... As a female traveling by myself in a country that I don't know is really not easy!

Food is too good, I am gaining weight!

I have never eaten food that I didn't like here. Everywhere, at the place I am staying, at my friends' house and even at the hospital I always get to eat awesome food. I am definitely not complaining because I think it is worth gaining a little bit of weight when I can experience amazing food. In India, I have also never met a person who doesn't consider good food as very important. Everybody is a "Foodie." I am not used to it because my mom and my sister for example do not really care about food that much. They say, it only has to fill their stomach, everything else is not important. This is why they don't put as much thought and effort into cooking. It has to be healthy and eatable but it does not have to be amazing, here it HAS to be amazing. The time that is put into cooking is also much longer than what I have seen at home. All the dishes cooked here take much longer and require much more effort. My favorite thus far is Paneer Curry but I also love Paan, Momos and Dhokla!

Homa Therapy

"You heal the atmosphere and the healed atmosphere heals you." In Homa Therapy the environment plays a pretty big role in healing a person. The basic principle is that fire is used to purify the atmosphere and the purified atmosphere will in return heal the person. There was this article the other day in the newspaper about Homa Therapy and I thought to myself that this is exactly what I am trying to find; a therapeutic way to heal a person by connecting that person to the environment.

Homa is a Sanskrit word for the Vedic science of bioenergy. It removes toxic conditions from the atmosphere with the help of fire. It replenishes the nutrients  that pollution robs from our environment. People practicing it claim that they have seen people with AIDS, heart diseases, cancer and diabetes getting cured by Homa Therapy. 

I don't know much about this form of therapy but I think it's worth exploring.

Nizzamudin Dargah

I live so close to this beautiful mosque but I have never been here before. About time

Couples Therapy Workshop

Attending the first day of the Couple's Therapy Workshop, I have realized how important it is to have a decent understanding of Indian culture in order to council couples in India. For example, knowing that Indian families often stay in extended families is crucial. After marriage, the woman is expected to move  in with the husband and his family, which in itself can create problems. The woman has to totally adjust to a new husband she has never met before and to a new family as a whole. Knowledge of those factors definitely plays a big role in order to provide good counseling. Another attribute that is important to consider is the fact that arranged marriage is still very prevalent in India. Couples coming for therapy often feel like they simply don't match; they are too different to make their marriage work. They also have to learn how to be intimate with each other. And sometimes they simply can't because they have been chosen for each other without taken their wants and needs into consideration.

At the very beginning of this internship, my lack of knowledge of Indian culture was troubling me a lot until one of the doctors explained to me that these cultural aspects can be learned. Patients can teach me if they chose to be patient. I think he is right but how much do I have to know in order not to overwhelm the patient with my lack of knowledge.

I have never experienced so much Superstition

My first birthday in India and the first one that I seriously feel old. I think I have reached a point where I would prefer not to get older; I just want to stay 24.

Did you know that feeding you your birthday cake brings you good luck. Or did you know that putting your birthday cake all over your face will bring you luck as well? I didn't... every day I learn something new.

Hypnotherapy

As I loved the Art Therapy Workshop, I also loved the Hypnotherapy Workshop. Even though both were very much focused on the more practical part, I still have the impression I have learned a lot.

It's really hard for me to believe in hypnosis when I have never undergone hypnosis. The most part of the workshop was based on putting all of the attendees in a state of hypnosis. As probably everybody can imagine it is really hard to put a whole room under hypnosis because the approach used is not very individualized but rather a one-size- fits-all schema. Obviously, having a one on one session might have been a little more helpful but I have tried my beset to follow the therapist's instructions. I think I even tried a little too much. I felt as if my body was getting more tense than relaxed but I kept trying anyway. After the session, however, I simply believe that I had fallen asleep. I thought I was able to relax to an extent that I slept. So when we started talking about our experiences and how we felt under hypnoses, I kept quiet because I thought that it did not work on me. But when the therapist said that when we think we have fallen asleep but have woken up on her counts then we have in fact not slept. Instead, we have probably been under hypnosis but don't remember it. This is exactly what happened to me, I thought I had fallen asleep but surprisingly I woke up exactly one the counting of the therapist.